Be it the ogre in the camouflaged shirt, or the woman with arms the size of a leg of ham.
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Just because they're small doesn't mean they can't maul you. Beware of canines, no matter how big – or well-dressed – they are.
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Because when somebody's trying to break your arm, you'd want to fight back.
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If this fire escape had a better layout, less people would have to die.
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Packing tape is the least of your worries. Never let your kids near your power drill, welder, or even a hammer.
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And sometimes, they are.
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So laugh at his jokes, do what he tells you, spit-shine his shoes if you have to. You need him, no matter how insufferable he may seem.
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These guys might not look like much, but they're some of the best musicians today. So you're old – what does it matter? You're still cool in your own special way.
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Don't let George Bush – or any other government official, for that matter – fool you. People hate liars, even those in smart suits and elected positions.
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Nobody's going to help out those guys in the car crash otherwise.
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Split-second decisions and decisive actions often make or break careers. Take this guy with the black hose. You can bet that he's going to be looking for a new job in a week.
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And you can bet that it's going to take a helluva lot more effort to dig yourself out.
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And that's why we love them. When they're all grown up and doing their own things, you'll miss the days when they were just sitting there, mooning the general public or screaming at horses.
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A lot of people still make the mistake of doing things without thinking them through. Take the goalie for this soccer match – his flying tackle is bound to result in a full-on collision with two members of the attacking team and one fellow teammate, and that's going to hurt.
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This guy looks like he's about to get into the cockpit of a really cool camouflaged fighter jet. And if you believed that, then you're P.T. Barnum's classic definition of a sucker. A stupid man is awed by what his senses tell him – an intelligent man questions the information.
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Gandhi may have looked like a flea-ridden piece of gutter trash, but he knew the importance of getting things done. Which is more than what can be said about, say, half of the human population the world over.
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It happened to Arnold, it happened to Stallone, and it could happen to you. Buff or not, fit or not, once you hit the big sixty, you know you're going to start sagging. Live with it.
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Look at Ron Paul and his kung fu-esque pose – even he looks like he knows enough to defend his sorry ass. Why shouldn't you?
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John Edwards' photo notwithstanding, asking for the proper pay is somewhere up there with the natural law and the law of nature – that is, only an idiot wouldn't ask for a halfway decent pay.
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Okay, so Al Gore has a penguin army. Big deal – they can't vote. If you're going to get people to back you up, make sure you're talking to people who can actually offer something. Lots of times, plans go awry because you got the wrong guy for a simple job.
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